Keeping our Manuscripts out of the Trash

Recently, I attended a writing workshop where I sat down in a class that was outside my normal genre. I didn’t see anything that fit with my needs during that hour, so I thought I would give it a shot. I usually write Science Fiction but the next book I was considering was a murder mystery on a space station, so I thought I would attend a workshop class with a mystery writer and see if I could pick up a few tips.

Boy was this a great choice.

The author in question was named Betty Webb and she was one of the most informative instructors of the three-day conference. In fact, I adjusted my schedule to attend a couple of her other offerings before the end of the workshop. One of the things I appreciated, aside from the loads of great information, was the handouts she gave to the group. It’s one of these I want to share with you today.

A lot of the information she shared was specifically about mystery writers but some was for writers in general and this handout was a great example of that.

It is titled:

The Top 25 Reasons Your Submissions are Rejected.

Tips from the Surrey, B.C. Writers Conference. Each year agents and publishers conduct an exercise, where they read aloud the first pages of writers’ submissions to see how far they would read before it would be rejected. Here is a list of the reasons for rejection:

1.      An opening image that did not work.

2.      Opened with a rhetorical question.

3.      The first line is about setting, not about story.

4.      The first line’s hook did not work, because it was not tied to the plot or the conflict of the opening scene.

5.      The first line’s hook did not work, because it was an image, rather than getting the reader into the story.

6.      Took too long for anything to happen (a critique, incidentally, leveled several times at a submission after only the first paragraph had been read); the story taking time to warm up.

7.      Not enough happens on page 1.

8.      The opening sounded like an ad for the book or a recap of the pitch, rather than getting the reader into the story.

9.      The opening contained the phrases, “My name is…” and/or “My age is…”

10.   The opening contained the phrase, “This can’t be happening.”

11.   The opening contained the phrase or the implication, “And then I woke up.”

12.   The opening paragraph contained too much jargon.

13.   The opening contained one or more clichéd phrases.

14.   The opening contained one or more clichéd pieces of materiel. (The most I counted in a single submission was 5.) Specifically singled out: a character’s long red or blonde hair.

15.   The opening had a character do something that characters only do in book, not in real life. Specifically singled out: a character who shakes her head to clear an image, “he shook his head to clear the cobwebs.”

16.   The opening has the protagonist respond to an unnamed thing (e.g., something dead in the bathtub, something horrible in the closet, someone on the other side of the peephole…) for more than a paragraph without naming it, creating false suspense.

17.   The characters talk about something (a photo, a person, the kitchen table) for more than a line without describing it, creating a false suspense.

18.   The unnamed protagonist cliché: The woman ran through the forest…

19.   An unnamed character (usually she) is wandering around in the opening scene.

20.   Non-organic suspense, created by some salient fact being kept from the reader for a long time (and remember, on the first page, one paragraph is a looooong time).

21.   The character spots him/herself in the mirror, in order to provide an excuse for a physical description.

22.   The first paragraph was narration, rather than action.

23.   Too much physical description in the opening paragraph, rather than action or conflict.

24.   The opening spent too much time on environment, not enough on character.

25.   The first lines were dialogue. (To be fair, only one of the agents seemed to have a problem with this.)

This is why they would read beyond Page 1:

1.      A non-average character in a situation you wouldn’t expect.

2.      An action scene that felt like it was happening in real time.

3.      The author made the point, then moved on.

4.      The scene was emotionally engaging.

5.      The voice is strong and easy to relate to.

6.      The suspense seemed inherent to the story, not just how it was told.

7.      Good opening line.

8.      There was something going on beyond just the surface action.

As I said before, it was a great workshop and this was just a part of the pile of information that she shared.  I am glad I went outside my comfort zone and attended a class that I normally would have overlooked.

I just purchased one of her books to read. Hopefully I’ll be as impressed with her writing as I was with her as a teacher and person.

I Didn't See That Coming!

I commented a while ago (see post from 29 July 2011) on how reading extensively can make you a better writer.  I've just finished the second book in an unnamed fantasy series, and I've been spending some time analyzing the characters in the series.  Overall, the characters are well-developed; having unique traits and histories to which they remain consistent, while still having a growth arc through the story.

This particular author is writing at the top of his craft, and there are many things I can learn from how he handles his characters.  There were, still, several places where the I-wouldn't-have-written-it-that-way lights started flashing.  I'm not sure if this is more plot-related or character-related, but here's what I noticed:  Things seemed very predictable.

As soon as two characters come into conflict, I could see how that was going to build, and how it would eventually have to be resolved.  I did a quick count, and there were 21 such situations in this book.  Sixteen of these played out exactly (or almost exactly) how I thought they would.  Four of them remained unresolved at the end of the book.  The last remaining conflict involved revealing something that had happened in the past.  Whathad happened was what I thought it would be, but the how was completely different than I had predicted.

What I'm pondering on now, though, is whether or not it's better to set things up in a story and then deliver pretty much what the reader is expecting, or to have the plot twist and turn and keep the reader guessing?  While my personal preference is the convoluted didn't-see-that-coming option, there's no arguing with the fact that the author of the book I read has multiple NY Times bestsellers, while I…do not.  So, should I change my writing approach in order to be more commercially successful?

As an example of what I'm talking about, I can think of a number of instances in the Reckoning series we're working on where the characters will analyze the existing situation in an attempt to figure out what is going on.  In almost every case, they make logical, well-reasoned analyses…and then come up with the wrong answer.  The reader already knows what the right answer is, so the expectation is for each side of a conflict to respond to what is, but instead both sides are responding to what they think is going on, making the response something other than what would have been predicted.

As I said, I personally like this approach to plotting out a story, and keeping the reader guessing a little.  As I also said, as a writer, I tend to read a book differently than most people.  Please add comments with how you feel about stories you've read, and let me know if I'm going down the wrong path.